| Without you i'm just the old me.Everyone makes mistakes yes? But does everyone make mistakes prior to knowing it's a mistake? Better to regret the
things you have done rather than the things you haven't. Everyone knows that i am free spirited and i WILL do the things i want to do. Have i not been doing that all my life? I never liked having to keep things at the back of my head. Never was a fan of "please keep in mind that...."
I don't like to wait. I especially don't like to wait for people. Few more minutes before the sun's up. 2 more weeks before my boyfriend gets back. 10 more days before school starts. 2 more minutes before the alarm goes off and life pours back into this dull place i call home. I like it when it's dull, i feel most alive.
Good morning.
|
| |
| Forgive me, i think i'm going to sin
Oh God what am i doing ...........
|
| |
| Day #4, technically 5 ..4+am in the fucking morning and i'm still not curled up in bed. Everyone at home is asleep and i'm here stressing over Dreamweaver. I don't understand why the fuck i have to do this. It's not like i would create my own website when i start working. I would fucking hire some web designer to do it for me.
Chug this can of tiger down as my smoke fills the room. It feels oh so quiet contrary to Beth Gibbon's ghastly voice sinking into every corner of the room. I need the slightest change possible. If not for the soul, at least to the eyes. I cannot stand this beige off-white side of the wall. It is killing me. Anyone willing to fund me paint in the most royal of purple you could ever find? And also spend the day with me painting it. Please ...?? I will in turn buy you a packet of two dollar chicken rice because that is all i can afford. Or a cup of low fat milk bubble tea. With Xtra pearls.
I'm annoyed. I'm disgusted. Sick and tired of myself and all the bullshit i put myself through, especially at home. Things havn't been swell. How much can i take ..
Ready to H - bomb next week. Kitty Flipping somesort somesort if you know what i mean.
Fuck This dreamweaver Shit. I'm off to bed.
|
| |
| Day #3
Tuned in to this piece of shit Radio Patapoe, Amsterdam, so i could hear Wormrot live. Listen to their voice and laughter. Listen to my boyfriend talk.
I don't even know why i bother. Sometimes i just get so disappointed.
|
| |
True
